Urdu Funny Shayari Biography
Source(Google.com.pk)Coach (Shoib Akhtar se) “ dolat aur mehnat mein kia farq hai?”
Shoib Akhtar- “ jo raqam dusron se qarz li jaye ise dolat kehte hain aur is ki wapsi key liye jo larayi jhagra kia jaye use mehnut kehte hain.”
Pehla Player: “Mere Abbu aik darya mein chalang lagate hain aur dusre darya mein se nikal aate hain.”
Dusra Player: “ Mere Abbu darya Ravi mein chalang lagate hain aur darya-e-Sindh mein nikal aate hain.”
Teesra Player: “Mere Abbu Tanki mein chalang lagate hain aur Toti se nikal aate hain.”
Aik Martaba Waseem Akram apne driver key sath gari mein ja raha tha keh achanak is ne driver ko hokum dia. “Gari roko aur samne road par pari mung phalli utha kar le aao.”
Driver mong phali utha laya. Waseem Akram ne mong phali tori to do dane nikle. Aik is ne khud khaya aur dusra driver ko khelaya aur kaha. “Mere sath raho gey to aise hi aish karo gey.”
Aik aadmi jangal jangal se guzar raha tha
Lion: "aaj mein tumhara khoon pi jaaonga".
Aadmi: "mera khoon thanda hai, mere piche aik nojawaan aaraha hai us ka khoon garam hai uss ka khoon pina."
Lion: "nahi, aaj mera dil cold drink pine ko ji chah raha hai."
Aik bhikari Sarak(Road) par langra kar chal raha tha. Samne se teen dost aarahe the. Bhikari ko iss tarah chalet daikh kar pehle dost ne kaha. “yar dekho be chare bhikari ki tang tooti hoyi hai”.
Doosre dost ne kaha: “nahi yar! Mujhe lagta hai keh is ki tang maflooj ho gayi hai.”
Yeh sun kar tisra dost bola. “ tum donon ghalat andaze laga rahe ho, mujhe lagta hai is ki tang ko polio ho chukka hai”.
Iss baat par teenon doston mein takraar hone lagi. Bala-akhir inhon ne faislah kia keh wo bhikari se hi puch lete hain, wo teenon bhikari ke paas gaye aur is se pucha. “ bhayi saheb! Yeh aap ki tang kis tarah tooti”.
Bhikari (ghosse se teenon doston ko ghurte hoye bola) “arey! Meri tang nahi balkeh mera juta tuta hai “.
Aik dafa aik 3 ya 4 saal ka bacha masjid mein chala gia. Molwi saheb ne ise bhagana chaha to itne mein is bache ka baap aan puncha jo keh mash’hur khelari Naweed-ul-Hasan tha. Mulwi Saheb ne kaha. “Dekho ye pehle hi masjid mein kayi baar ghus kar sharar’tain kar chukka hai. yeh baat theek nahi hai ise sambhal kar rakha karo.
Naweed-ul-Hasan bola. “ Mulwi Saheb! Kiun naraz hote hain. Yeh to na samajh bacha hai. ise kia pata keh masjid mein jana hai ya nahi. Mein samajhdar hon bataiye mein kabhi masjid mein aaya hon.”
Aik dafa aik fakir aik darwaze par dastak di. Yeh shahid Afridi ka ghar tha. Shahid Afridi ne is se pucha.
“Kia baat hai:”
Fakir ne apni pocket se aik button nikal kar is ko dete huye kaha.
“Zara is button par aik coat to tank dijye.”
Do afimi sarak ke kinare baithe huye the aur bare sanjidah mood mein guftagu kar rahe the. Pehla afimi apne sathi se bola. "Bujho meri mut'thi mein kia hai?"
Dusra afimi bari maasum’yat se bola.”Rail gari ka Engine hai.”
Pehla afimi bola-“Tumhain kaise pata chala?”
Dusre ne jawab dia. “Dhuyan jo nikal raha hai.”
Aik bus driver bus buhat taiz chala raha tha. Driver achanak zor zor se qehqahe lagane laga. Is gari mein Yunus Khan bhi mojud tha.
Is ne driver se hansne ki wajah puchi to woh khil khila kar bola.
“ mein to yeh sonch kar hans raha hon keh jab pagal khane walon ko Judge: (chor say) tum nay is dukan mein chori kiun ki.
Chor( judge say) janab dukan par likha tha.
Aao aur le jaao.
Aik saheb dusray say. Is dafa mein nay Qurbaani ka sara gost baant dia.
Dusray hairan hotay huye. “ bhayi hairat hai hum nay to dekha nahi. Aap nay kahan gosht baanta?”
Apnay freezer mein. in saheb nay itminan say jawab dia.
Beta ( maan say)- ammi aap mujhay rozanah school kiun bhejti hain?
Maan- beta tumhain aik acha insane banana kay liye.
Beta- lekin mastar saheb to mujhay roz murgha bana detay hain.
kia baat hai BIBI ji! aap etni udas kiun hain?
Malkun nay dukh bharay andaz say kaha. Tumharay saheb apnay office ki typest say pyar karnay lagay hain.
Yeh sun kar nokrani be sakhtah bol uthi. aisa nahi ho sakta yeh aap mujhay jalanay kay liye keh rahi hain.
Aik saheb office janay lagay to inhon nay apnay nokar say kaha. Agar parosi puchay keh saheb kahan hain to kehna office gaye hain. Agar puchay keh cycle kidhar hai to kehna is ki hawa nikli huyi hai woh chat par puncture pari huyi hai. agar kahe ghora ( horse) kidhar hai to kehna ghaas charnay gia hai.
Alfaaz nokar kay zehan mein gid mid ho gaye. Parosi (neighbor) nay aakar jab pucha cycle kidhar hai to is nay kaha ghas charnay gia hai. is nay poocha ghora kidhar hai to nokar nay kaha office gia hai. jab is nay poocha keh saheb kidhar hai to nokar nay kaha. Is ki hawa nikli huyi hai. Chat par puncture para hai.
Officer: kia tum mot kay baad zindagi par yaqeen rakhtay ho?
Servent: ji bilkul janab!
Officer : kal jab tum chutti lay kar apnay dada kay janaza par gaye the to tumhari talash mein yahan aaye the.
Aik basti mein kisi ko namaz parhni nahi aati thi. Kisi duray shehar say molwi namaz parhanay aaya tha. Aik darakht key nichay namaz parhanay khara hua to aik titya is molwi ki qameez mein ghus gia to is nay qameez utar di, phir pichay kharay sab logon nay qameez utar di. Phir do titye is ki dhoti mein ghus gayi to is nay dhoti bhi utar di. Pichay sab nay dhoti utar di. Phir woh bhagta bhagta kuyein (well) mein gir gia. Is kay pichay sab kuyein mein girnay lagay. Aik aadmi nay kaha. Yeh kia kar rahain hain.
Sabiq cricket Imran Khan vote mangnay kay liye kisi mohallay mein gaye. Wahan kisi ka inteqaal ho gia tha. Imran nay soncha keh vote mangnay ka acha tareeqah hai. Program kay mutabiq woh wahan gaye.
Fateha parhi phir bolay. “Allah bakhshay marhoom meray jigri dost the. Rozanah meray ghar tashreef latay aur hum aadhi raat tak guftagu kartay. Kabhi kabhi to woh meray ghar so jatay.
Log hairan huye. Imran khan nay hairan honay ki wajah poochi to logon nay bataya keh marnay wali to Ghulam Rasool ki ghar wali thi.
Maan .............Hameed kiun ro rahay ho?
Hameed............ammi mastar saheb bimaar the aur woh…….woh….
Maan….Kia hua mar gaye kia be charay?
Hameed ………..”aji kahan mar gaye…….tandurust ho gaye hain.”
Kisi dehati nay apnay dost say kaha. Chalo shehar ki sair karnay chaltay hain.
Is kay dost nay kaha dil to mera bhi buhat chahta hai lekin mein jagah jagah jo hidayatain darj hoti hain in par amal karna khasa mushkil hai. Pichlay mahinay mein shehar gia. Aik jagah likha tha. Yahan thukye. Majburan mujhay wahan thukna para. Dusri jagah likha tha raddi kaghaz is mein dalein. Mein nay sarak say raddi utha kar is mein daal di. Chund qadam aagay barha wahan likha tha, rafter 40 mile fi ghanta bhala bataao mein burha aadmi itni tez raftari say kaisay dor sakta hon lekin marta kia na karta mein nay 40 mile fi ghanta ki rafter say dor laga di aur is din kay baad mein nay shehar janay say tobah kar li.
Ostaad shagird say ----aap kal school kiun nahi aaye the?”
Shagird-“sir mujhay bird flu ho gia tha.”
Ostad-“bird flu to murghiyon ko hota hai.”
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Urdu Funny Shayari Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
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