Wednesday 26 March 2014

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Biography

Source(Google.com.pk)
Officer: kia tum mot kay baad zindagi par yaqeen rakhtay ho?
Servent: ji bilkul janab!

Officer : kal jab tum chutti lay kar apnay dada kay janaza par gaye the to tumhari talash mein yahan aaye the.

Aik basti mein kisi ko namaz parhni nahi aati thi. Kisi duray shehar say molwi namaz parhanay aaya tha. Aik darakht key nichay namaz parhanay khara hua to aik titya is molwi ki qameez mein ghus gia to is nay qameez utar di, phir pichay kharay sab logon nay qameez utar di. Phir do titye is ki dhoti mein ghus gayi to is nay dhoti bhi utar di. Pichay sab nay dhoti utar di. Phir woh bhagta bhagta kuyein (well) mein gir gia. Is kay pichay sab kuyein mein girnay lagay. Aik aadmi nay kaha. Yeh kia kar rahain hain. Dusray aadmi nay jawab dia. Chup ho jaao jamayat ho rahi hai.
Aik basti mein kisi ko namaz parhni nahi aati thi. Kisi duray shehar say molwi namaz parhanay aaya tha. Aik darakht key nichay namaz parhanay khara hua to aik titya is molwi ki qameez mein ghus gia to is nay qameez utar di, phir pichay kharay sab logon nay qameez utar di. Phir do titye is ki dhoti mein ghus gayi to is nay dhoti bhi utar di. Pichay sab nay dhoti utar di. Phir woh bhagta bhagta kuyein (well) mein gir gia. Is kay pichay sab kuyein mein girnay lagay. Aik aadmi nay kaha. Yeh kia kar rahain hain. Dusray aadmi nay jawab dia. Chup ho jaao jamayat ho rahi hai.
aik aurat dental surgeon kay kamray mein dakhil huyi aur muhabbat say boli. "mujhay jaldi hai doctor! aap ko aik daant foran nikalna hai, barah karm apni fees bata dein.

Doctor nay fees batayi to aurat nay kaha. " yeh to buhat ziadah hai. "doctor nay kaha "is mein fees kay elawah jild ko sun karnay wali medicine ki qimat bhi shamil hai."

aurat nay kaha. " aap medicine ko chorain aur yunhi daant nikal dein.

doctor nay hairat say kaha " aap jaisi bahadur aurat mein nay kabhi nahi dekhi."

daant mera nahi meray shohar ka nikalna hai woh bahir baitha hua hai. aurat nay kaha.

Aik saheb London kay kisi hotal mein khana khanay gaye. Woh murghi khana chahtay the lekin ain waqt par woh murghi ki English bhool gaye. Woh isi sonch mein the keh beray nay aakar kaha. “what do you want?”

In saheb nay jawab dia. I want egg’s mother.
Judge: (chor say) tum nay is dukan mein chori kiun ki.
Chor( judge say) janab dukan par likha tha.
Aao aur le jaao.

Aik saheb dusray say. Is dafa mein nay Qurbaani ka sara gost baant dia.
Dusray hairan hotay huye. “ bhayi hairat hai hum nay to dekha nahi. Aap nay kahan gosht baanta?”

Apnay freezer mein. in saheb nay itminan say jawab dia.


Beta ( maan say)- ammi aap mujhay rozanah school kiun bhejti hain?
Maan- beta tumhain aik acha insane banana kay liye.
Beta- lekin mastar saheb to mujhay roz murgha bana detay hain.
Dubtay huye aik shakhsh ko aik nojawan nay ba mushkil samandar say bahir nikala. Hosh aanay par burhay nay nojawan ka shukaryah ada kartay huye kaha.

tumharay karnamay say mutasir hokar main tumhain aik behtareen inaam dena chahta hon. jantay ho, woh inaam ka hai? mein apni beti ko tumharay nikah mein day don ga.

nojawan nay ghoom kar sanjidgi say burhay ki beti ki taraf dekha jo waheen sharmarahi thi. phir achanak is nay burhay ko utha kar kandhay par lad lia.

beti nay pucha. aap meray abba ko lay kar kahan ja rahay hain.

nojawan nay jawab dia samandar mein phainknay.


Do be waqoof mawali kisi jagah cigarette pi rahay the keh aik mawali kay pas cigarette khatam ho gayi. Is nay dusray mawali say cigarette maangi. Dusray mawali nay cigarette nahi di to woh dusray mawali ki cigarette cheen kar bhag kar aik hotal mein ja kar akhbar parhnay lag gia. Etnay mein dusra mawali bhagta hua hotal mein gia aur akhbar parhnay walay mawali say puchnay laga. Aap nay kisi ko bhaghtay huye dekha hai.

Is nay kaha. Kiun kia woh aap ki cigarette la kar bhag gia hai.

Dusra mawali hairat say bola. Yeh khabar etni jaldi akhbar mein bhi chap gayi
ik kanjus ka so rupay ka note kahin kho gia. Woh buhat pareshan hua. Is nay coat ki choti pocket kay sewa baaqi sab pockets ko bar bar ulat kar dekha. Magar choti pocket ko haath na laga ya. Is ki biwi nay pucha. shayad isi mein ho.

Kanjoos bola-mein darta hon keh agar is mein bhi na mila to kahin mera heart fail na ho jaye.

Aik saheb apnay bachon kay sath chirya ghar gaye aur guide say kaha. “ hamein zarrafa dekhaiye. Ajeeb janwar hota hai.”

Guide nay in kay bachon ki ginti kar kay pucha. kia yeh 20 bachay aap kay hain.

Ji han.

Khoob. To phir aap zara theharain. Mein zarrafa le kar aata hon. Woh khood aap ko dekhna pasand karay ga.
kia baat hai BIBI ji! aap etni udas kiun hain?

Malkun nay dukh bharay andaz say kaha. Tumharay saheb apnay office ki typest say pyar karnay lagay hain.

Yeh sun kar nokrani be sakhtah bol uthi. aisa nahi ho sakta yeh aap mujhay jalanay kay liye keh rahi hain.

Aik saheb office janay lagay to inhon nay apnay nokar say kaha. Agar parosi puchay keh saheb kahan hain to kehna office gaye hain. Agar puchay keh cycle kidhar hai to kehna is ki hawa nikli huyi hai woh chat par puncture pari huyi hai. agar kahe ghora ( horse) kidhar hai to kehna ghaas charnay gia hai.

Alfaaz nokar kay zehan mein gid mid ho gaye. Parosi (neighbor) nay aakar jab pucha cycle kidhar hai to is nay kaha ghas charnay gia hai. is nay poocha ghora kidhar hai to nokar nay kaha office gia hai. jab is nay poocha keh saheb kidhar hai to nokar nay kaha. Is ki hawa nikli huyi hai. Chat par puncture para hai.

Tab us aadmi nay bataya " mein apni cheenk ko roknay ki koshish kar raha hon. Kiun keh meri biwi nay kaha tha jab bhi tumhain cheenk aaye to samajhna keh main yaad kar rahi hon. aur tum foran meray paas aajana.

Dusra aadmi bola " to is mein konsi buri baat hai?

Us aadmi nay jawab dia " woh is liye keh meri biwi mar chuki hai.

Aik saheb baray tam’taraq say rukhsat ho kar haj kay liye rawanah huye. Rastah mein niyat kharab ho gayi aur aik shehar mein deray daal liye. Do maah baad jab wapis huye to milnay walon par yeh zahir kia keh haj kar kay aarahay hain. Logon nay baray ishtiyaq say wahan ki batain pucheen aik saheb nay kaha.

“hij-re-aswad ko to aap nay dekha hoga:”

“kiun nahi. Kia kehnay in kay. Bari buzurg shakhsiyat hain.”

Aji shakhsiyat kahan. Woh to pathar hai.”

“Acha to ab pathar bun gia! Jab mein nay dekha tha is waqt to aadmi tha.”
Aik sharabi nashay mein raat gaye apnay ghar puncha.Is nay chabi talay mein dalnay ki koshish ki lekin chabi hi talay mein nahi ja rahi thi. Aik hamsaye nay sharabi say kaha "laao chabi mujhay do mein tala khol deta hon.
Is sherabi nay kaha tala to mein khol lon ga tum zara deewar ko pakar kar rakho yeh bohat ziadah hil rahi hai.

Baap betay khana kha rahay the to betay nay kaha. “abbu……….”
Baap nay kaha. “chup karo khana khatay waqt baat nahi kartay.” Jab dono baap betay nay khana kha lia to baap nay kaha. “beta tum kia keh rahay the?”

Betay nay jawab dia. Abbu roti mein makkhi thi woh aap kha gaye hain.
Aik dehati pehli bar hawayi jahaz mein sawar hua. Jab is kay urnay ka waqt hua to is nay ankhain band kar lein, do minute kay baad is nay ankhain kholein to sath baithay huye shakhs say kaha, janab hum kitni unchayi par puhanch gaye hain.

Bahir aadmi chiyon'tiyon (ants) ki tarah nazar aarahay hain.

Dusra aadmi: yeh chiyon'tiyan(ants) hi hain abhi to jahaz ura hi nahi.

Aik saheb station ki taraf jatay huye logon say pooch rahay the.
Station idhar hi hai.

Har koi jawaban kehta. Aaho

Aik khush posh saheb say jab inhon nay yahi sawal poocha to inhon nay jawab dia. Ji han

Woh saheb poochnay lagay. bhayi baaqi sab logon nay to aaho kaha hai. aap nay ji han kaha hai. farq kia hai?

Woh saheb akar kar bolay. janab parhay likhay aur mohazzib log ji han kehtay hain jabkeh un parh aur jahil qisam kay log aaho kehtay hain.

In saheb nay pucha. Kia aap parhay likhay hain?
Woh saheb foran bolay. aaho
Larka: aik litter bhains ka doodh day do.

Dhood wala tumhara tartan chota hai.

Larka acha to phir bakri ka hi day do.

Aik bar mulla nasir uddin ka gadha mar gia to gayon kay shararti bachon nay mazzaq mein rona shuru kar dia. Gayon kay chodhri nay inhain mana kia to mulla nasir uddin nay kaha. Inhain ronay dijye. Marhoom in ka bhayi tha.

Hotal mein thehray huye aik shakhs nay hotal kay malik ko jhan’jhor kar uthatay huye kaha.

Khuda ra jaldi uthye meri biwi khirki say kood kar khood kasha karna chahti hai.

To mein is silsilay mein aap ki kia madad kar sakta hon. Malik nay hairani say pucha.

Woh dar asal kamray ki khirki nahi khul rahi. Woh shakhsh jhonjhla kar bola.
Baap betay khana kha rahay the to betay nay kaha. Abbu……….
Baap nay kaha. “chup karo khana khatay waqt baat nahi kartay.” Jab dono baap betay nay khana kha lia to baap nay kaha. “beta tum kia keh rahay the?

Betay nay jawab dia. Abbu roti mein makkhi thi woh aap kha gaye hain.

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

Comedy Sms Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos

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