Latest Funny Jokes Biography
Source(Google.com.pk)Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome? A: Pull down its genes. Q: What do you call the leader of a biology gang? A: The Nucleus Q: How do you make a hormone? A: Don’t pay her. Q: How do you tell the gender of a person? A: You pull there genes down. Q: Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? A: He was a man of many cultures. Q: What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? A: Designer jeans. Q: How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. Q: What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe? A: Mitosis Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? A: An itsy bitsy book. Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexics Association Q: What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? A: Chemotaxis Q: How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? A: Romeostasis Q: What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A: A FSH. Q: What did the femur say to the patella? A: I kneed you. Q: What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? A: I like your "style" Q: How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? A: He caught the garter snake. Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side. Q: Where do you bury dead people? A: Asymmetry Q: What do football players wear on their heads? A: Helminth Q: What is the study of real estate? A: Homology Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed. Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? A: Fear of utility bills. Q: What is the reproductive area in South America? A: Spermatagonia Q: Where do hippos go to university? A: Hippocampus Q: How do you know your dehydrated? A: You can hear your red blood cells crenating. Q: How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement. Q: Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards? A: They like to avoid the flush. Q: Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets? A: Polly, Ethel and Ian Biology the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division. When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire. Why do noses run but feet smell? It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. Life is a sexually transmitted disease. Psychic Hotline A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "in her biology class." Zoo An unemployed biologist from Roche pharmaceuticals was having considerable difficulty in finding a new job. He finally saw an add in a local newspaper for a position at a zoo. In the interview, the manager told him that their only gorilla, which had been a star attraction, had recently died, and it would be sometime before they could replace it. Meanwhile, they needed someone to dress up as a gorilla and pretend to be the animal. The biologist was quite embarrassed, but, being desperate for money, he accepted the job. The next day, the biologist put on a gorilla skin and headgear and entered a cage from a rear entrance. Visitors smiled at him and threw bread. After a while, the biologist really got into the act. He jumped up and down, beat his chest and roared as people cheered. The following day, the biologist entered the wrong cage by accident and found himself staring at a lion. The lion roared and rushed toward him. The scared biologist turned and ran, while screaming, "Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto the gorilla, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear, "Hey, it's me Howard, your former co-worker. Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!" Human Body The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" Flora blushes and says, "That’s disgusting, I won’t even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That’s easy," says Johnny. "It’s the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That’s correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn’t do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you’re in for a BIG disappointment." Doing It Biologists do it with clones. Botanists do it in the bushes. Zoologists do it with animals. Organic Vegetables A woman called her husband during the day and asked him to pick up some organic vegetables for that night’s dinner on his way home. The husband arrived at the store and began to search all over for organic vegetables before finally asking the produce guy where they were. The produce guy didn’t know what he was talking about, so the husband said: "These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?" To which the produce guy replied, "No, sir, you will have to do that yourself." Biologist's Garden Once there was a beautiful biologist who loved to work in her vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her genetically enhanced tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful bright red organic tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret. "It's really quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment." Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily. Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress. "So," he asked, "any luck with your tomatoes?" "No," she replied excitedly... "but you should see the size of my cucumbers!" Biology Pick Up Lines: The only cleavage I want to see is at a cellular level. If we were like chromosomes, you'd be my homologous pair . Baby, I wish I were DNA Helicase, so I could unzip your genes Girl whenever I'm near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away. If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: Smooth or Rough? I wish I was adenine, then I could get paired with U. Your chromosomes have combined beautifully Girl, your so hot you denature my proteins I like my sex the way I like my endoplasmic reticulum.....Rough. You must be a gibberelin, because I'm experiencing some stem elongation. Baby, everytime i see you, my cardiovascular system gets all worked up submissons by: skp42154, Marilyntietz If you didn't get the joke, you probably didn't understand the science behind it. If this is the case, it's a chance for you to learn a little biology.
Biology Joke 1:
Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.
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Biology Joke 2:
A TV viewer sent a headline to the Jay Leno Tonight Show that read "Integration of Physics into Cellular Biology Leads to Epidermal Solar Cells with Growth Vectors."
See explanation
Biology Joke 3:
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
See explanation
Biology Joke 4:
Q: What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick?
A: Designer jeans.
See explanation
Biology Joke 5:
It is well known that the blood contains white cells and red cells. But it is not so well known that white cells come in husband and wife forms. Evidence for this came when the renown medical researcher Dr. Sanguine listened to blood with a tiny microphone and heard a white wife cell say, "The way to a man's heart in through his veins."
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Biology Joke 6:
Q: How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
A: An itsy bitsy book.
See explanation
Biology Joke 7:
The bad news is that the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Amoebas is shrinking. The good news is that none of the amoebas has lost any of their members.
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Biology Joke 8:
The following is a true story about an anatomist.
One day after sleeping badly, an anatomist went to his frog laboratory and removed from a cage one frog with white spots on its back. He placed it on a table and drew a line just in front of the frog. "Jump frog, jump!" he shouted. The little critter jumped two feet forward. In his lab book, the anatomist scribbled, "Frog with four legs jumps two feet."
Then, he surgically removed one leg of the frog and repeated the experiment. "Jump, jump!" To which, the frog leaped forward 1.5 feet. He wrote down, "Frog with three legs jumps 1.5 feet."
Next, he removed a second leg. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog managed to jump a foot. He scribbled in his lab book, "Frog with two legs jumps one foot."
Not stopping there, the anatomist removed yet another leg. "Jump, jump!" The poor frog somehow managed to move 0.5 feet forward. The scientist wrote, "Frog with one leg jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally, he eliminated the last leg. "Jump, jump!" he shouted, encouraging forward progress for the frog. But despite all its efforts, the frog could not budge. "Jump frog, jump!" he cried again. It was no use; the frog would not response. The anatomist thought for a while and then wrote in his lab book, "Frog with no legs goes deaf."
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Biology Joke 9:
Confucius's once said, "When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire."
Biology Joke 10:
When Jay Leno went J-walking and asked pedestrians biology questions, he discovered some amazing new facts about life:
Jay Leno: "How does blood circulate in the human body?"
A high school cheerleader: "I not exactly sure. Does it go down the right leg and up the left?"
Jay Leno: "Can you name the three kinds of blood vessels?"
A freshman at UCLA: "Yes. Arteries, veins and caterpillars."
Jay Leno: Where is the alimentary canal located?"
A high school dropout: "Is it at the border of New York State and Canada?"
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Biology Joke 11:
Q. What does DNA stand for?
A. National Dyslexics Association
See explanation
Biology Joke 12:
At NIH (National Institute of Health), there is a sign on the door of a microbiology lab that reads "STAPH ONLY!"
See explanation
Biology Joke 13:
Q: What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
A: Pull down its genes.
See explanation
Biology Joke 14:
The wives of the American Society of Otolaryngologists have a cute saying: "The way to a man's stomach is through his esophagus."
See explanation
Biology Joke 15:
An unemployed biologist was having considerable difficulty in finding a new job. He finally saw an add in a local newspaper for a position at a zoo. In the interview, the manager told him that their only gorilla, which had been a star attraction, had recently died, and it would be sometime before they could replace it. Meanwhile, they needed someone to dress up as a gorilla and pretend to be the animal. The biologist was quite embarrassed, but, being desperate for money, he accepted the job.
The next day, the biologist put on a gorilla skin and headgear and entered a cage from a rear entrance. Visitors smiled at him and threw bread. After a while, the biologist really got into the act. He jumped up and down, beat his chest and roared as people cheered.
The following day, the biologist entered the wrong cage by accident and found himself staring at a lion. The lion roared and rushed toward him. The scared biologist turned and ran, while screaming, "Help! Help!" The lion leaped onto the gorilla, knocked him to the ground and whispered in his ear, "Hey, it's me Leonard, your former co-worker. Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
Latest Funny Jokes Urdu Funny Urdu Jokes Poetry Shayari Sms Quotes Covers Pictures Pics Questions Cover Photos
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